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Section 2
Manager of Superstore Dunne's Stores Kiskeam, Wim Kieft, announces the purchase of Kilbrin Water World. The world-renowned water park sold for just under £4m.
After police found his abandoned Mercedes, it is believed that Gary Charles has fled to the safe haven of Knocknagree amid fears of a Lismire terrorist mob.
After the success of his latest collaboration with Eminem and his eight times platinum second album, rap artist Tommy Widdrington has sensationally quit the music industry.
If Jan Molby throws up 4 times a day, he can fit into a size 8 dress. If he throws up 3 times a day, he can use size 10. How much does liposuction cost??
Are you going to the auction? The question on everyone's lips as Mervyn Day and Terry Eviston are to sell their ballet memorabilia this Saturday.
Two cannibals, Kevin Gallen and Bradley Allen are eating a clown when Kevin turns to Bradley and says, “Does this taste funny to you”.
The weather tomorrow will be poor with lots of rain for the South. However it will pick up on Saturday when temperatures will be 20 degrees. I'm Roger Joseph, Goodnight.
“We will fight on”. The words of Johnny Glynn, ECO warrior who plans to stay and protest at the glen of the downs. Reporter: Tony Galvin.
Winners of the Halloween Fancy Dress competition are as follows: Mark Flatts Jnr. Dressed as his father mark Flatts Snr. the famous astronaut.
Mark Falco is to quit football to concentrate on his Movie career.
Julian Watts has been hand picked by Dusty Springfield To duet her old classic, “Son of a preacher man”, with her.
Frank Yallop beats the quizmaster and becomes the first person to win in “Who wants to be a millionaire”
Vinny Samways is still missing. Police are doing all they can for the tricky winger who was last seen at the FIFA awards, where he picked up 3 awards.
“Sun Exclusive”… Gary Bernice has finally admitted to being the second man on the Grassy Knoll.
“Ian the Money”… Former West Ham striker Ian Dowie is mulling over the decision whether or not to take up Georgio Armani's offer to become a full time model.
Gerry Crane is the toast of Britain today due to his findings of 5000000 gallons of petrol in his back yard.
Under the careful guidance of his coach Jeremiah Dennehy, Franz Carr wins the over 30 weightlifting competition in Tureenavoscan.
Richard Sneekes wins gold in the javelin with a world record throw at the Sydney Olympics.
“I am Mick Stockwell's Partner”… Read the amazing story of Gundi Bergsson only in tomorrows Sun.
Craig Maskell is to sell his 150-acre farm, the farm on which he kicked his first football. Frank Crowley being the auctioneer.
“Dalian Atkinson wins gold at archery”… Atkinson had this to say after his triumph… “I've always been a bit of a sharp shooter since my days at Aston Villa”
“Brian Small is to re-open the Hi-Land on this Saturday night”… Proprietor Mick Hourigan said… “We couldn't think of a better celebrity to re-open it”
Tony Agana to wed his childhood sweetheart Scary Spice at a secret location today, with Jonathon Speake as best man.
“Dane Whitehouse nets 50 million in the will of his former partner, Mixu Paateleinen”… Whitehouse is said to be ecstatic at the news.
“They're the best”… The US Democrat party speaks about their Presidential candidates, Mike Milligan and Geraint Williams.
“You've Scott to be kidding”… Minto confirms that he is the father of Luton striker Scott Oakes!
Twp Cork Guards graduated from Templmore Garda training college today. Their names… Joey Beauchamp and Nicky Banger.
Nigel Glover loses an estimated 329 troops in the Battle of the Downs. His chief Nemesis Thomas Skuhravy must surely now be confident of victory.
Coronation St. Bosses go with the Flo as they agree to offer the part of Jack Duckworth to Jostein Flo.
Top Fashion Designer Jeremy Goss launched his Autumn Winter collection in London. Goss said, “much of the credit has to go to Guy Whittingham for his fine Tailoring”.
NEWSFLASH!! Researchers at a Denver university find Cancer cure. A man named Brian Burrows is being credited with this achievement.
Reuters, the Internet Org. claims that they have interviewed the real man responsible for the cure, Mike Meaker.
“I found the cure ye fools”… The words of Earl Barrett, a crazed lunatic, who barricaded himself to the White House earlier today.
“By George, he's done it”. Kevin Penny becomes the first man to swim across the channel. He had this to say… “Mirandinha was my inspiration”.